What is a circular question?

A circular question asks a person about a relationship, or asks one person to speak about what another person thinks, rather than asking them directly about themselves. For example, instead of asking how are you feeling about school, you ask who in your family worries most about school and what your mum does when she notices.

Why do circular questions work?

Three things happen at once. You reach information a direct question cannot get, because people often describe relationships better than themselves. Everyone else in the room hears the answer. And the question itself carries the message that the difficulty lives between people rather than inside one person.

Can you use circular questions with only one client in the room?

Yes. Working individually, circular questions bring the family into the room in the client's own words, which is often the only way a practitioner will ever meet them. Questions such as what would your mother say about that are available in any setting.

When should you not use a circular question?

Circular questions expose relationships. Where there is family violence or coercion, asking a child to speak for an adult who is not safe can carry real risk, so safety needs to be considered before the question is asked. They also fail when fired rapidly like a quiz, or when used to make a point the practitioner has already decided on.

Systemic practice

Circular questions: 30 examples you can use in your next session

By the AkindaCo education team · Adelaide, South Australia

If you take one technique out of systemic family therapy and use it everywhere else, make it this one.

A linear question asks a person about themselves. "How are you feeling about school?" A circular question asks a person about a relationship, or asks one person to speak about what another person thinks. "Who in your family worries most about school? What does your mum do when she notices you are worried?"

The difference sounds small. In the room it is not.

Why circular questions work

Three things happen at once when you ask one.

You get information a linear question cannot reach. People are often better at describing a relationship than describing themselves.
Everyone else hears the answer. A daughter saying "Dad would say Mum worries most" in front of both parents does more work than any interpretation you could offer.
It moves the problem out of one person. The question itself carries the message that difficulty lives between people, not inside the identified client. Nobody has to be told that. They experience it.

That last point is why circular questions are so useful when the person in front of you is not the person who needs to change.

Thirty examples

Asking about relationships between others

Who in the family is closest to your brother?
Who noticed first that things had changed?
When your parents disagree about this, who usually gives way?
Who worries most? Who worries least?
If your grandmother were sitting here, who would she be most concerned about?
Who in this family finds it easiest to talk about feelings? Who finds it hardest?

Asking one person to speak for another

If I asked your sister what she thinks the problem is, what would she say?
What would your son say he needs from you right now?
If your partner were here, how would they describe a good week?
What would your teacher say is the hardest part of the day for you?
If your dad answered this instead of you, would his answer be different?

Asking about sequences and patterns

When he raises his voice, what does she do? And then what does he do?
Walk me through the last time this happened, from the beginning.
What has to happen for the argument to stop?
Who usually makes the first move to repair things?
When things go well, what is different about the day before?

Asking about differences over time

Was this happening two years ago? What was different then?
If this carries on for another year, what will the family look like?
What changed in the household in the six months before this started?
Since your father died, who has taken on what he used to do?

Hypothetical and future-oriented

If the problem disappeared tomorrow, who would notice first? What would they see?
If nothing changes, who will be most affected in five years?
Suppose your mum stopped reminding you. What would happen?
If you were braver about this, who would be most pleased? Who would find it hardest?

Asking about the wider system

Who outside the family knows about this?
Which professional does the family trust most? What do they do differently?
What does the school think is going on? Does the family agree?
Who decided this was a problem? Does everyone agree it is one?
If I made a recommendation today, who would be most likely to follow it? Who would resist?
What would this family need from me for these sessions to be worth their time?

Using them with one person in the room

You do not need the family present. Working individually, circular questions bring the family into the room in the client's own words, which is often the only way you will ever meet them. "What would your mother say about that?" is available to any practitioner in any setting.

Three ways they go wrong

Firing them like a quiz. One good circular question with a long silence after it beats six in a row. The silence is where the work happens.
Using them to make a point. If you already know the answer you want, the family will hear the agenda and shut down. Genuine curiosity is not a technique you can fake.
Asking a child to speak for an adult who is not safe. Circular questions expose relationships. Where there is family violence or coercion, that exposure can carry risk. Think about safety before you ask, not after.

Learning to use them well

Reading a list is not the same as having them available under pressure. Circular questioning is one of the core skills we practise on Family Therapy Foundations, our two-day family therapy training in Adelaide, alongside reading a family system, holding a session with several people in it, and drawing a genogram live in the room.

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